Five Levels to Freedom
A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away, Hopkins was a fun and wonderful place to be. People were rappelling off Gilman, doing unspeakable things on D level, and winning Nobel Prizes. And streaking through the library. Yes, I know, hard to believe there ever was such a time at Hopkins! But alas, that time slowly dwindled away, and all that was left were legends. No rope has hung from Gilman in many a year, nor has the slippery horizontal slide happened on D level. Worst of all, though, the bare naked dash from D to free had been all but forgotten, with only the elders to pass on the ancient secrets. That is, until one fated word resounded across the Facebook world: Streak.
The flood gates had been opened, havoc had been cried, and the dogs of war loosed. There was no choice. It had to be done. Meetings were held secretly across the land. Shadows whispered and messages flew. A time and date had been set. But before it could begin a scout returned with news that the number of people in the library was just too great! So we waited, and bided our time until the clock struck midnight. There, in the deep dark bowls of the library we stripped down to our skivvies and made a brisk jog around D level, encountering no resistance. As we progressed up through the levels the denizens of the library began to cheer for our display of liberation! I gave someone a high five.
We thought all was lost when we reached the post of the library guardian, but she was facing the wrong way! So we ran on uncontested all the way to a most sacred place: the Weird Little Statue Garden. There we regrouped our forces and donned, once again, the chains of civilization, going back to our studies and vowing to return, next semester, only bolder and more naked.
12